Fat Girls Wear Red

Flawed Creation

2010-07-21T15:33:00.002+08:00

Projects and more projects avalanching my way. I had a bizarre dream last night and it was painfully synchronised with reality in the most uncanny manner. I'm still finding my purpose and I came to the realisation that we will never be truly satisfied, neither will we find all the answers in this time. We are the decaying children of the revolution taking the spoils of globalisation and the alternatives and flexibilities has caused much long term disraught. Now God, bet you didn't see that one coming did you?

I wonder if I truly know anyone in this world because we only know what is projected to us after all. We were born strangers and we'll depart as strangers?

For those who believe, no explanation is necessary; For those who doubt, no explanation will suffice.

Medusa can fool the whole world but she cannot fool me,
for I am Cyclops, unwillingly.
I will lay my cards out for her to see,
But Medusa will be Medusa,
Her wrath will always be.

Without a Trace

2010-06-11T17:20:00.002+08:00

Procrastination is the enemy.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference." - Prayer of Serendipity

We're only halfway through 2009, 2010 come quick, I welcome you with open arms. I will be liberated from these chains of burden. My youth isn't doomed yet and I will change what is inside the crystal ball.

-A.

Absolut Insomniac

2010-05-15T20:57:00.004+08:00

So Jules was asking me about today's race, "Does the boat ever capsize?" I answered him in the utmost stoic manner and confidence. "Nope! Chances of it sinking's like close to none." And then I heard the horns, I was up next. Blame it on the lack of weight allocation. Blame it on the tidal waves. Bottom line was that for the first time in my dragon boating history, our sturdy lil "ship" overturned right at the finishing line. Way to go for the weekends.

The need to graduate NOW is finally seeping into my veins. I gotta desist staring at the puddle of spilt milk and put words into action. I will not miss that damned place. To me its like the catacombs of trash and confinement. I will not reminisce about it. This pathetic excuse for an educational abode has left nothing indelible for me to remember and has not enlightened me in any way I can think of. Even that rut of a junior college was waaay slick. As the June bells loom nearer, I begin my very own countdown where I will be rid of the pathetic culture that I refused to comply to.

I'm spiralling and losing my religion. For temporary pacifism I threw my rulebooks out of the window. I know that it is fatal and I gotta think of the big picture but I can be such a stubborn twat at times.

C was telling me something thought provoking and strangely enough, I agree with every word in silence. I'll run that extra mile and make sure that I leave out the dirt on the trails as long as my legs will carry me. At the end of the tunnel at whatever crossroads we reach, I'll be able to hold my head up high and tell you that you were never short changed.

It starts to seep into your very flesh past your skin and soon you realise that it has consumed you. You would like to think otherwise but you know it. You pretend for a while that it isn't the case and put on some armadillo cloak as part of the props for your little "act". A psuedo aura of indifference surrounds you for a temporary period - like how the booze and tobacco are your fair weathered friends. Because you know. You know that eventually your scars will show. Run swiftly, there is no such thing as a safe haven in this time.

-A.

Strobelight Seduction

2010-05-09T16:23:00.002+08:00

All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players. When is enough really enough?

You can play the fool or the runaway.

-A.

Time to Pretend

2010-04-06T11:29:00.005+08:00

Let's sweep the dust under the carpets.

2 more weeks to liberty. Can't wait to get out of this shithole. Pathetic attempt to fill the curriculum with such a pointless and redundant activity. Academic exams never looked so good.

You're a real bad habit. You should have known better and conceal those lies flawlessly. What a misjudgement. You asked me to give you the big T word but how can I do that when you give me every reason not to? Consider being more meticulous when you cover your tracks. I'm no Sherlock Holmes but your masking job was simply too half baked. I created a monster.

Fucking weather. The world is obviously a dead man's land. Melting ice at the Antarctica and whatnot. Its April and it pours nearly every afternoon on this sunny island. Sunny island we say, how ironic. Mother Nature's ever changing temperament is honestly not my concern but the fact that it is affecting my tennis and beach plans drastically is exasperating.

I wonder. I evicted you a long time ago and all that remains is the memory of my days of yore. Should there be a day you send me the big red envelope I wonder if it will all come back like a plethora of moving images in a vortex. I'd do it all again, differently.

2010-03-30T11:07:00.001+08:00

Talk about crappy weekends. I managed to miss the much anticipated MR500 race and spent my morning at the hospital instead. Truth be told, it was pretty unnerving as I waited for the xray results. Fortunately, it wasn't what I thought.

There's more to it than what meets the eye. Its self absorbed but its the only way to put up the barricades for any impending calamities. Nothing is indispensible and sometimes you learn it the hard way. The game we play everyday can only have one winner.

J was filling me in on something so fucking ludicrous that i have to share it here. This takes online shopping to a whole new level.

Worn/Used Wacoal Yound Old Panties going at S$7 on Ebay. Are you shitting me? And to top off the attractive lucky 7 offer, there's free shipping too. And if that wasn't enough to tickle your funny bone, here's the description posted:

Selling on behalf of a colleague who has been posted overseas

Condition: Used Rating: 8/10

Terms: No Bargaining. No Returns. No lewd requests such as requesting the item to be sent in an unwashed condition

With that said, its apparent how the economy has seriously taken a detrimental hit. Have an enriching day ahead folks, and remember to inform your grams about this attractive offer ;)

-A.

Squirrels

2010-03-24T11:39:00.005+08:00

Humans should have been engineered to be able to hibernate like rodents. "You saw this coming." Damn straight I did. Met B for dinner last night and in an uncanny way, its calming to know that there are plights out there which are more grave that the ones at hand. Coming to think of it, all this is just child's play and giving in to the temptation of being vulnerable.

A mere view from the bridge would insinuate that having such a mentality is undesirable and cold blooded. But so what? Its a dog eat dog world and if you choose to lay down your weapons and armor to enter the ring, you'd only have yourself to condemn when you take a fall. So cut the bullshit about how its such a pity, its such a loss etc cos nothing is a loss or a pity. The only pitiful thing I can imagine is to even harbour the thought that anything deserves pity. With that said, I am making no reference to the poverty-stricken and the likes.

I'm curious how you would end your swan song. I could have swore that I believed you more than you can imagine but it does not discount my intellect. Its pathetic how we play pretend that the road ahead is fine and dandy. I fail to comprehend how we ended up at a junction where you felt that you needed to embellish the truth with your revolting lies. Everything you do now is questionable and I'm not able to see you in the same light. What the heck, enough of this sappy bullshit, I'm washing my hands and taking a step back because I no longer see the need to invest in depleted resources.

If this isn't worth your time it sure as hell isn't worth mine.

-A.

Longest. Hiatus. Ever.

2010-03-22T11:07:00.002+08:00

And as quoted by J, "like how all things in Andrew's life ceases to lose its attraction, so has this blog". But what do you know? I'm back. For now.

I'm astounded at the number of facades I found. Seeing isn't believing. I wonder how many people take joy in the demise of others, its like a basic instinct. We run our mouths to save ourselves, we seal it out because of the looming catastrophe. Fucking paradox.

I am trapped in pandora's box. You toss out the unwanted debris only to have your fresh fruits turn into poison apples as well. Vicious cycle. Maybe the only solution is to oblivious and rid of worldly desires, nothing to gain, nothing to lose.

I pretend to be unaware because its easier that way. It doesn't mean I'm accomodating and the keyword here is 'pretend'. I'll play along with this masquerade until the ice wears thin. And truth be told, its losing its charm. There's always a first for everything and your unstained track record does not reflect on anything concrete enough. The way I see it, you just might be creating a new record of your own. We will never know until the well runs dry and I'll admit that I had a fair share in your risky business. But it is no excuse and I will never give you that benefit because we're all wise enough to differentiate from a mirage to reality. When the last grain of sand in the hourglass falls I will be well on my way and nothing would matter anymore. Till then, be safe and remember to cover your tracks because the walls have ears.

Lie to protect. Lie to conceal. Lie for selfishness. Lie and destroy.

-A.

it's not gonna get blunter than this. :O

2008-12-10T09:43:00.001+08:00

Ferocious angels send me falling stars
But i know just how dangerous wishes are
Ferocious angels watch me come and go
But i'm not too smart to go barging off of roof tops, though

Sit out september on the window sill
'cause you can't drink wine from a two dollar bill
Saint christopher lives on the end of a quill
Leave him a diamond in your last will

He doesn't dangle by the seraphim
He only wants a pretty face by him so
How could you want him when you know you could have me?

2008-12-08T20:31:00.000+08:00

You're leaving so soon
Never had a chance to bloom
But you were so quick
To change your tune
Don't look back
If I'm a weight around your neck
Cos if you don't need me
I don't need you

2008-12-03T11:04:00.000+08:00

We've run out of words we've run out of time

2008-12-01T20:30:00.000+08:00

everyone know's she aint gonna do it.

fucking nightmares

2008-11-03T09:36:00.002+08:00

i dreamt about snakes again
i tried to pick them up
but they just sank their teeth into my skin

repeatedly.

i remember it hurting like shit
and i tried to yank them off
but they kept coming

and then a dog tried to eat serpy

:O

ok he was swirling serpy around in his mouth and then spat him out

that was disgusting.

and then there were rabbits running around in the football field in front of my house.

warped man

Nice weather for ducks.

2008-10-28T11:47:00.002+08:00

what a lazy morning
slothing at the computer.

at least the intelligent conversation
is keeeping me awake. :D

2008-10-17T22:10:00.000+08:00

i wonder how this is going down.

when you wish upon a star.

2008-10-14T11:56:00.004+08:00

ROFL,

How did some people on this earth ever turn out so retarded? Did the man above close his eyes and pointed out a few people and said "Thou shalt be socially retarded for entertainment's sake." ?!

-shudders.

Anyhow, hodgie podgies are on the way. Yay! Oh, and it's my last day on the job too! No more waking up early tomorrow... I shall wake up late, have a facial and go to the gym, taking my own blooooody sweeeet time. Some Macallan and interesting company for the evening and my day is complete.

Sounds like a plan. :)

"Desire is desire wherever you go...
The sun will not bleach it,
nor the tide wash it away..."

Eli Eli.

2008-10-13T16:52:00.001+08:00

What's one to do?

Prolonged Anticipation has to amount to something, there's got to be some sort of finality to it.
Talking in riddles is excellent.

Lucky lips.

Traditions

2008-09-30T11:27:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Someone I knew vaguely (exchanged passing glances and a few words with) just hung himself.
He was a fairly good looking guy with a pretty girl on his arm. And he still did that to himself. What a shame, a complete waste of a life. Maybe I don't know better but perhaps he had problems in his life that he couldn't stand to be in this living world anymore? I guess we shall never know.

Still, these things scare me.

I do

2008-08-31T20:40:00.000+08:00

Sleeping through the evening
singing dreams inside my head
I'm heading out
I've got some ins who say they care
and they just might
I'll run away with you
if things don't go as planned
Planning big could be a gamble
I've already rolled the dice

I spit and stutter stuff and clutter
worries in my worried corner
Maladjusted
Just untrusted
Rusted
Sometimes brilliant busted thoughts
Think I'll stay for a while
I'm intrigued and I'm
Red as a newborn, white as a corpse

I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind
I promise not to mind if you go your way and I go mine
I promise not to lie if I'm looking you straight in the eye
I promise not to try not to let you down

I am elated
I am all smiles invaded
in my man-bites-dog down
with a Spanish name
I'm all bone
I'm two tone
Red as a newborn, white as a corpse

I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind
I promise not to mind if you go your way and I go mine
I promise not to lie if I'm looking you straight in the eye
I promise not to try not to let you down
Don't let me down
...slow

Why you gotta keep the fan on high when it's cold outside?
Just wanna let you know that I'm still a fan- get it?
Everybody wants charm, and a smile, and a promise

Well, I promise not to try...

-Jake

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

2008-08-18T10:19:00.002+08:00

It's been awhile! Rotting at work now. Couldn't get to sleep last night. I hate sleepless nights. Thoughts just swirling around in my mind. Can't get it one pointed.

Thoughts of old loves and new ones which haven't come to pass. I'm so internally disorganized. What can be done to concentrate on the present, the very moment i'm living in?!?!

Tough shit. It's like I close my eyes and my brain likens to an overflowing rubbish bin.

Maybe it was the excessive exercise I did in the evening? Hmmm.

Ah. I need to send in my uni application soon. Sociology? Psychology?

2008-06-03T08:41:00.000+08:00

Absent friends, here's to them
And happy days, we thought that they would never end.
Here's to absent friends.
Little Jean Seberg seemed
So full of life, but in those eyes such troubled dreams.
Poor little Jean.Woodbine Willie couldn't rest until he'd
Given every bloke a final smoke before the killing.
Old Woodbine Willie.
Steve McQueen jumped the first one clean
But the great escape he'd tried to make was not to be.
Maybe next time Steve.
Laika flew through inky blue
'Til Laika neared the atmosphere and Laika knew
Laika's life was through.
Oscar Wilde was a lonely child.
He fought and won acceptance from the world.
They smiled, they laughed, they praised,
They drove poor Oscar to his grave.
Absent friends, here's to them,
And happy days, we thought that they would never end,
But they always end.
Raise your glasses then to absent friends.

-J.

OsteoEze.

2008-05-26T18:59:00.003+08:00

I think I'm accident prone.

HAHA.

Anyhow, just something I've observed. Initially, one may be turned off by certain specimens of the human race, but after a break from interacting with them, they actually become quite bearable and in some instances even pleasurable to be with them.

Queer innit? And I don't think it applies to me solely, but goes across the board.

On a different note, I'm glad I finally got round to tailoring my suit for sis' wedding.

:D

Carpe Diem!
- Jake

Deception

2008-05-21T14:49:00.006+08:00

The boredom in pandora's box is stupefying me. I could have been having a sandwich with Shuxian and gang but nohoho, I chose to attend this ridiculously dreadful make up class for the Internet and Web module.

The Vesak Day public holiday turned out to be pretty fruitful in its own uncanny way. I managed to be a gym rat from 2.30 pm till 7 in the evening, and then drag myself to Del Mar only because I intended to keep my promise to Jo and Idy. The 2-hour bodycombat special was spectacular and I couldn't ask for more. It was like a furnace in there as the condensation and mist formed on the glass panes, with the floor tiles being covered in... sweat. The dude behind me formed his very own puddle of sweat and I was pretty awed that he didn't trip. Inititally, when the other dude in front splashed his perspiration on me whenever he was hyped up or moved vigorously, I bothered to wipe his grime away. However, as the class proceeded into the 11th hour, it really didn't matter anymore.

Pardon me for the grotesque details of the human skin secretion, but here's something a lil' more interesting. At the Del Mar with Idy and friends, a dandy bunch of Europeans were having a ball of a time sipping cocktails, dancing and occasionally challenging each other to swimming races. All seemed pretty normal until this girl, who prolly had too much to drink, pulled out her friend's bikini top. They seemed extremely tickled and humoured despite the fact that their dear friend was topless in a pool with wondering foreign eyes. The shrill laughter and giggles only subsided when a burly Indian male employee decided to stop by and warn them that stripping was not an option in the Del Mar's premises.

I discovered a dark secret recently. It's the kind of hidden truths regarding a second lifestyle that you can't just share with anyone for fear of contempt or disdain. I guess I seemed impartial enough that my friend had no qualms telling me about the shocking truth. Its amazing how human behaviour can conceal so much and create a facade for the world. Just when you thought that religious sanctuaries were the light at the end of the tunnel if the world was an evil place, you thought wrong.

But of course, we are in no position to judge because our hands are often stained with the very imperfections that we were scrutinising at.

-Andrew

The darkness among us.

2008-05-16T13:56:00.002+08:00

The sanctuary of God. The secrets within revealed by years spent in an educational institute. Wow.
2 educational enforcers with such a dark past. Scary. A past fraught with entanglements of a different kind.

God I'm too free at work. :x

AAAAAAAAH...lleluia.

- Jake

Bird Without a Nest

2008-05-15T15:47:00.006+08:00

Why did Adam eat the apple knowing that he was not supposed to? Well, it's because the act of eating the forbidden fruit is simply adrenaline-pumping and in other words, exciting compared to doing something routine-ish. And so I started looking for my very own forbidden fruit, but all I found were rotten apples that even Nigeria would reject.

Mother's Day wasn't that good. To be honest, things with the folks aren't good at all. In a futile attempt to wish my mom on that fateful sunday turned out to be a catastrophe. Maybe if all lips were sealed, calamity wouldn't have striked. I blame the stock market. Mid-life hormones can be such a bitch too.

Just when I assumed that Europe was the epitome of sex, drugs , rock and roll, and of course inclusive of all the marijuana and magic shrooms, some weird ass Ukranian guy proved me wrong. Or maybe it was merely an act to pick up a couple of girls from Cafe Del Mar? "Zis cigarat iz bad. I am a swimmer and it makes you looze all ze energy." Later, I heard from my friend who was an employee at the Del Mar that he and his little bunch of Ukranian hippies were banned from the place cos they kept intruding on the patrons' privacy; with significant reference to women in particular of course.

I was literally ass-raped at my first spinning class in the gym. It was after much persuasion from Idy and James that I decided to step foot into that class for the first time. I pretty much tried everything from yoga to capoeira, but I had no idea what spinning could do to your faggot ass.

And a part of Jack still lived with Jill,

After all, they went down the hill.

But soon enough dear Jack will know,

that memories, can never grow.

-Andrew

tml

2008-05-12T10:49:00.003+08:00

I just had to. Gahahaha. Amazing how the english language can drive some people up the wall.

Yay, just ordered another controller for my xbox360. sweeeeeet.

Money matters, what a headache. Petty cash bah.

-Jake

Where's Waldo?

2008-05-05T15:01:00.001+08:00

You grow your nails too long
There's scratches on your arms
You taste like orange chocolate
You always put your hands in my pockets

Your teeth are not quite straight
Your mood swings oscillates
Your language is appalling
And you play with my hair in the morning

Your imperfections are so beautiful
I can't control my animal soul
Your imperfection has got me on a chain
Can't concentrate
I'm a sucker for your beautiful mistakes

And sometimes when we kiss
You touch my fingertips
Synthetic words can't hide me
Passion creeps like death inside me

This moment we become one
We stick like chewing gum
I want your language to be appalling
I want you to play with my hair in the morning

Your imperfections are so beautiful
I can't control my animal soul
Your imperfection has got me on a chain
Can't concentrate
I'm a sucker for your beautiful mistakes

Your imperfections are so beautiful
I can't control my animal soul
Your imperfection has got me on a chain
Can't concentrate

Your imperfections make you what you are
My defective star
My inelegant love

Your imperfections are so beautiful
I'm out of control
I'm a sucker for the defects in your, your soul

- Jake

In Vino Veritas

2008-05-04T20:52:00.002+08:00

So I see it was all one big mistake.
A slip of the fingers. One wrong click.

But still...
Your funny clothes. Your eclectic taste in music
Your horrid taste in men. Your quirky habits.
And yet there's something about you that draws me to you.

What is it about you? Your smile? Your sex appeal?

Somehow at the same time, I hardly feel attraction for you. If that makes sense at all.

One word - See-Saw.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

It doesn't help that you're sick bro. I miss our conversations.
Seems like we've got so much catching up to do.
And the last time we really talked feels like years away.

Get well soon.

Night Fever

2008-05-04T15:17:00.004+08:00

It was a humid night on the eve of may day. It was also then that I encountered people from my opposite world. I am not particularly fond of having a vibrant night life, but Idy suggested that we should do something considering that the following day was a public holiday. She brought along a friend. This friend of hers, if I remember correctly, her name was Jolene. Jolene looked like a petite version of Fiona Xie and her face gave away no sign of what was looming next. The moment she opened her mouth, hell had no fury.

She used so much hokkien profanities that if she were to compete with the beer-goggled oldies at the coffee shop, she would win them hands down. I would be making a mountain out of a molehill if not for her constant whining throughout the entire night. However, she put an end to all my discontentment when she lost her 2 month old camera. I actually felt sorry for her despite the fact that she blatantly told Idy "All guys should pay for girls, they deserve it". For some strange reason, a song started playing in my head - John Meyer's Where Did All The Good people Go?

I know you've probably heard this upteen times already, but the weather is getting intolerable. I also believe that it is the culprit for giving me this 38 degrees fever right now. The only reason I'm posting is because I have a project presentation to complete, which, is due tomorrow. Life bites you in the backside like that. The weather has also made the trains smell of putrid dried up sweat and a collection of body odour lurking beneath the clothes. I recall doing a project the last semester on Global Warming and with scientific reasoning, this could most probably be Mother Nature's wrath. Maybe if Britney Spears or Paris Hilton desisted using heaps of aerosol hairsprays for their picture perfect hairdos, the ozone layer might have been more forgiving.

-Andrew

Constant Craving

2008-04-30T19:22:00.003+08:00

After many days of silence, I was confronted with the million dollar question that I knew for some time was going to drop on my head. "So what was that all about", she asked. And I feigned ignorance. Which wasn't a very pragmatic thing to do since she persisted with her interrogation. So I treated the matter at hand very lightly indeed, pretending to make a little deal out of it.

The conversation went something along the lines of:

AL:
So now that you're completely sober, what was that day all about?

Me:
Eh? Oh yes, I screwed me knee up pretty badly.

AL:
Not that you idiot.

Me:
Then what?

AL:
Think harder.

Me:
Hmmm. Oh you mean me kissing you?

HAHAHAHA. Asian society. Asian lasses.

And so entailed a long stuffy conversation about her not going around with just any Tom Dick or Harry.

Pooh.

That very night (yesterday), and I swear this happened, I received another request for the green stuff.

Holy shit.

-Jake

The green stuff we're not made of.

2008-04-28T21:05:00.003+08:00

So I found it quite surprising when a long lost acquaintance dropped an online greeting my way. And by god, what changes had occured. So what the hell, I thought I'd give anything a shot, even after many dreadful signs that pointed to the fact that the specimen in question was indeed an AL.

What a disappointment it turned out to be, the only thing that redeemed the whole situation was the base upon which we settled. Which was quite pleasant really. What sucked donkey ass and ruined it all was the fact that I was repeatedly flicked off like a light switch every time the AL tried hopefully to procure some dough from my vacant piggy bank.

It did not end there. The worst omen in my entire life up till now happened. My knee popped out of its socket and got disjointed. God bless me, carted down the stairs and out of the house and straight into an ambulance. Not the most glamorous way to go, I can tell you that.

But however painful it was, it cannot beat the utter tragedy of having someone who thinks you're loaded like a gun to the extent of being a sugar daddy, trying repeatedly to tap into your treasure trove.

I must admit it makes the pleasantness of fleshly desires evaporate as swiftly as a candle is extinguished. Poof and the flame is gone. Just like that. Shame really.

And we continue to ponder why it is we cannot meet two decent lovely ladies without a pickaxe in their pantyhose.

- Jake

Puddle O' Muddle

2008-04-28T14:01:00.005+08:00

"Miners" seem to flock to me like plague even though I do not possess any gold or let alone the mine. Being a bachelor boy seems exclusively attractive because of such mentalities. I must admit that I am partly to blame for unknowingly flaunting. Frankly, I'm really not used to it. The environment I used to inhabit in was oblivious to such issues and a speedy or mont blanc was no big deal, neither did it implicate that you are fed with a silver spoon.

They say that there are firsts for everything in life. How true. After a series of unfortunate events in school for day, I was wondering why a bunch of rowdy girls were using profanities and giggling at the same time. Then I realised how I massacred myself socially for 30 seconds - for the first time in my life, my fly was down. I was so caught up on the cell with Jake regarding my gold-digging theories that I hadn't noticed.

Reading, in my opinion, is an excellent form of mind-numbing escapism. I find myself absorbed into a different dimension of time, which I hate to admit, is sometimes more appealing than the period I dwell in. I'm kinda aware of what most books have in store for me, but I must say that I am clueless as to what lies ahead in the remaining of year 2008. But one thing's for sure, I've had my hands full with "miners", poker faces and disregarding Bugis Street peeps.

- Andrew

Monday Blues

2008-04-21T20:08:00.002+08:00

Some people get it.
I don't. Not today anyways.

And as Andrew so poignantly described, our auntie roadtrip was a real eye opener. :D

Friggin' tour guide. I distinctly remember her almost last words were "Man man xia che orh, bu yao tai jing zhang ken wo shuo byebye orh" which translates loosely into "Get down slowly orh, don't be too excited to say byebye to me orh" Don't know why they cannot help orh-ing at the end of every sentence. Jeeezus.

Okaaay it's time to do some work now. :(

to see you smile again

- Jake

Saccharine Tidbits Anyone?

2008-04-20T21:08:00.004+08:00

I'm finally back from my hiatus - more accurately speaking, I was down with the flu bug for almost a week. I have never stumbled upon a more "auntie" experience than the one I had today on my day trip to some island in Johor. Thank god for Nicholas Sparks and the psp, I have been able to resist succumbing to pure irritation from the ever friendly tour guide who blabbers in the crudest hokkien cum chinese ever. Unfortunately, Jake was perpetually annoyed because the booming voice of the tour guide was too much for his ipod earphones to handle.

I reckon that we literally laughed out so loud that she must have sensed the possibility of her presence and demeanor being the subject of our inside jokes. You see, this extremely interesting personality was my form of television entertainment for most of the journey in the coach. She is extremely exuberant when it comes to the topic of otah, never failing to describe it in an orgasmic manner. Then, she gives her patrons her two cents worth of Aushwaylia - go figure out what that is, it's pretty easy, no prizes though. And lastly, she radically switches at the spilt second from tour guide lady to a preschool teacher, constantly referring to the kids at the back as "little friends", or to be more specific, xiao peng you. As she took the orders of everyone on the bus for some local otah, maybe except the xiao peng you(s), she totally skipped us as if we were under Harry Potter's invisiblity cloak. I'm guessing that the undeniably audible laughter was the culprit.

I honestly do not mock this wonderful tour guide or think negatively of her, its just that her demeanor and articulation tickles my funny bone. That said, back to the topic of the old ladies that we encountered today.

It's funny how Jake was mentioning that this particular old lady whom I helped to carry her heavy bag of salted fish and fruit, would gladly pay 50 Malaysian dollars for a piece of fake jade, but wraps up a piece of leftover dry chicken from the dinner plate to cook porridge for her grandkids. This same old lady amused me earlier by exclaiming very loudly when the skies were pouring how she was only going to go down the coach and "have a look" at the local delicacy store - she was adamant about refraining from making any purchases but before I could read the next chapter of my book, she came up with the most bags.

After such an enriching experience, I can only conclude that without these old ladies, there is a possibility that households might just starve like Oliver Twist.

School was relatively dreadful this week and I hope the second week does not include me staring blankly out of the windows for two hours straight - cos that seriously screws with the mind and sanity of someone who isn't exactly an introvert. So slap me with more assignments or something; anything beats making imaginary friends with the birds outside.

- Andrew

"Because he smiled at me twice."

2008-04-18T00:14:00.002+08:00

HAHA.

What a day it's been. Tiring day at work, didn't even get to eat lunch. LOL. And dear drew was being a drama mama at the gym. (And after gym too) Go ask him if you wanna know why.

I'm glad I have heaps of things to do. Makes me so drained by the end of the day that I fall asleep soon after my head hits the pillow.

No time for my mind to wander. But I do wake up in the middle of the night sometimes.

Weird as.

Anyhow, bedtime.

-Jake

genting x 2

2008-04-13T11:27:00.007+08:00

Realized we went a while back but never really put the pictures up. So here goes. Just a couple of the nice ones. And it's about time to get cracking on the poopy video.

:D

I love the weather and scenery there. It's fucking awesome.

Beautiful sunrise outside the window.

Theme Park day!
This one was "Hump With the Snakes"HAHA and I just had to take this picture of Drew when he got stuck in the ride because the safety bar wouldn't release.

Taken while on the coaster.

After the viking ship. Puking would be more adept.

Inside joke.

HAHA, it was good fun except I got sick on the bus with a really bad sore throat which dampened a little holiday spirit. Ah well. :D

CRAZY TIMES. Poop video in progress. Will upload it soon!

- Jake

Nostalgia.

2008-04-12T23:41:00.003+08:00

The night is a lovely thing really. The troubles and toils of day fade away to be replaced by a silent still darkness.

Some people hate the night. The darkness frightens them. I was too when I was little, I had the habit of charging up the dimly lit staircase at home to grab a piece of homework from my room then dashing madly downstairs, afraid to look back. Afraid to see something I didn't want to.

The sense of panic a kid feels when he thinks something eerie is looming behind him cannot be comprehended. Your heart starts pounding furiously and you run as fast as your little legs can carry you.

Ah being afraid of the dark - that reminds me of the good ol' days.

When all you had to worry about was how to convince mom and dad to buy you that new RC car and the price of sweets.

Or whether the bogey man would come and get you at midnight.

Things were much less complex then.

When friends fought and made up instantly, when love was simplistic and selfless.

When smiles and tears were powered by the innocence of youth.

When we were young.

- Jake

24.647563264238% Rant-Free

2008-04-12T17:30:00.005+08:00

With reference to Jake's previous post, I guess old habits die hard. Maybe I was some goth kid or psychopathic introvert in my past life huh.

Anyway, school's starting in a bit and I used to enjoy the back-to-school thought until I realised that I would be seperated from my class. You see, I was never a math whiz and therefore I flunked my 2 math-based modules. Sometimes I wonder how I even made it to college the last time with such abysmal results. I bet the YJC old maid must be mocking me with disdain if she knew.

I imagine my school board to be anal sticks in the mud. I opted for French, then followed by German, Japanese and some international cross-cultural ballocks for my year 2 elective modules. And as you would guess as much, they gave me my last option. It's really annoying when the reason was due to acadamic incompetency based on GPA, as I would bluntly put it. This is the issue with Singaporean education - everything is based on paper and statistics. No wonder the arts sector here is "thriving" and "vibrant". Putain de merde!! >8(

-Andrew

Shallow Intentions

2008-04-12T16:30:00.003+08:00

HAHA and you said you weren't going to be emo. Chin up brother, many tadpoles in the longkang.
Go easy on yourself alright?

Anyhow we saw a suspicious article on the train just now. Fucking funny lah, it was just sitting there. And like a public turd, many an auntie couldn't stop gawking at it.

Here's a picture.

Weird as. Maybe there's a chopped up girl in there or something. That'd be wicked. :D

My body's aching after a long shoulders session at the gym. And my wrists hurt like hell. Damn, my body's falling to bits. Need to get those wrist straps!

Alright that's it for now, if you haven't noticed already, Drew and I differ greatly when it comes to posting. I, with an extremely short attention span, can only blog for so long. Ah dunno how you do it bruv. I shall attempt it. Some day.

- Jake

Letter #22

2008-04-12T02:20:00.003+08:00

Dear you,

I inevitably thought of you again when I entered your educational abode to help my friend with her college application. I must have been high on magic mushrooms because I felt your presence throughout the whole time I was there. Posting this is definitely hazardous to me, but knowing myself, I like to jump into pits of hellfire. Credits to you, I have become the greatest actor and my latest squeeze is to delude myself that I am sitting on a patch of greener grass. But part of me believes and would like to think that you are, in fact, having a rosy time and better off. Cos you'd better be, or I would be disappointed that we wasted our youth without you finding your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Remember Jiro? You'd be surprised to know that he has suffered a similar fate. He and I lead extremely parallel lives except for the fact that I'm a no brainer when it comes to musical instruments. I guess when you are young and foolish you end up making decisions and plans that don't last, even though they did seem to be kind of eternal back then. I cleared the jungle the other day and kept everything away in this big red bag. It's amazing how a part of me died away with the broken pages as I closed the book of memoirs. Time stood still during those days of yore. I only wished that I hadn't gone to stupid clubs or played aimless computer games when I could have spent more time doing what I was supposed to do. I am not regretful, you are the epitome of eveything I have been looking for and I'm only sorry that I didn't tell you this when I should have. I am going to stop here before I start sounding like some suicidal emo song writer. So wherever you are, you'd best be having a ball of time or I would be really cross with you.

Love,
Andrew

Pop goes the cherry

2008-04-10T18:00:00.001+08:00

HAHA OK SINCE YOU'RE SUCH A FVCKING PROCRASTINATOR, I CREATED THE BLOG. LOL

can't wait to go to the gym later. fuck it's gonna pour big time bruv.

anyhow, change the template and shit will ya? I n00b.

-Jake

I Saw You On Animal Planet

2008-04-10T00:29:00.001+08:00

I was expecting some sort of a cheery welcome post but I should have known my fiesty friend better. I crashed at Julius's last night and experienced his very own miniature zoo. He was trying to feed his albino milk snake with this petrified-looking mouse - and had the ssssnake not been in an imnothungrynow state, I would have experienced my first real life national geographic Predator and Prey Night. I know, what a bummer, considering the fact that I'm not a huge fan of carnivorous, mice-binding ssssnakes. Oh and did you know that rats had the largest balls in the rodent category? When I saw obese albino rat Eric Cartman clean himself, I swear I thought it was his butt. Of course, Julius revealed the truth about the baboon backside and I was pretty surprised.

The Euro Cup is approaching again and this means betting time for me. I'm gonna bet till my wallet weeps blood and if I do win enough moolah, no, I mean WHEN I WIN, I'm gonna use that to buy the Holland bunny. Here's a rough idea of my much anticipated Holland Lop. Of course that's not him, it's probably his long lost geezer Grandpa Buns cos he's not so old and fat.

Reasons to buy the Holland Bunny:
- I swear there was some chemistry between us that fateful day at the pet shop
- He wasn't bred locally, so I will actually have a prospective "family member" who has lived in the Land of Drugs, Strip Clubs and Windmills
- He has perfectly drooping ears, which many bunnies are inferior of
- He is potty trained. (They sell wabbit potties at the pet shop)
- My man's best friend Rocky could use a buddy, that's if he doesnt have my prospective bunny for rabbit stew instead

Reasons not to buy the Holland Bunny:
- My folks will flip and I might end up a vagabond on the streets while the bunny and Rocky get to share my bed

DAMN

I watched Step Up 2 the other day and I really abhor Hollywood producers who make asians in the movies speak like half-brained dimwits who suffer from verbal diahorrhea. Okay, given that it is occasionally funny, but it seems that almost every asian actor in an american production was made to converse in a William-Hung manner. Take Juno for example. Remember that chinese girl who was protesting outside some child adoption center? She was another victim of producers who lacked creativity and zest. The last thing I aim to do is to become an aspiring revolutionary activist for asians but that whole ridiculous "I no spic ing-leesh but I love Emelikah" has got to stop. It's getting overrated.

-Andrew