Flawed Creation

Projects and more projects avalanching my way. I had a bizarre dream last night and it was painfully synchronised with reality in the most uncanny manner. I'm still finding my purpose and I came to the realisation that we will never be truly satisfied, neither will we find all the answers in this time. We are the decaying children of the revolution taking the spoils of globalisation and the alternatives and flexibilities has caused much long term disraught. Now God, bet you didn't see that one coming did you?

I wonder if I truly know anyone in this world because we only know what is projected to us after all. We were born strangers and we'll depart as strangers?

For those who believe, no explanation is necessary; For those who doubt, no explanation will suffice.

Medusa can fool the whole world but she cannot fool me,
for I am Cyclops, unwillingly.
I will lay my cards out for her to see,
But Medusa will be Medusa,
Her wrath will always be.

Without a Trace

Procrastination is the enemy.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference." - Prayer of Serendipity

We're only halfway through 2009, 2010 come quick, I welcome you with open arms. I will be liberated from these chains of burden. My youth isn't doomed yet and I will change what is inside the crystal ball.

-A.

Absolut Insomniac

So Jules was asking me about today's race, "Does the boat ever capsize?" I answered him in the utmost stoic manner and confidence. "Nope! Chances of it sinking's like close to none." And then I heard the horns, I was up next. Blame it on the lack of weight allocation. Blame it on the tidal waves. Bottom line was that for the first time in my dragon boating history, our sturdy lil "ship" overturned right at the finishing line. Way to go for the weekends.

The need to graduate NOW is finally seeping into my veins. I gotta desist staring at the puddle of spilt milk and put words into action. I will not miss that damned place. To me its like the catacombs of trash and confinement. I will not reminisce about it. This pathetic excuse for an educational abode has left nothing indelible for me to remember and has not enlightened me in any way I can think of. Even that rut of a junior college was waaay slick. As the June bells loom nearer, I begin my very own countdown where I will be rid of the pathetic culture that I refused to comply to.

I'm spiralling and losing my religion. For temporary pacifism I threw my rulebooks out of the window. I know that it is fatal and I gotta think of the big picture but I can be such a stubborn twat at times.

C was telling me something thought provoking and strangely enough, I agree with every word in silence. I'll run that extra mile and make sure that I leave out the dirt on the trails as long as my legs will carry me. At the end of the tunnel at whatever crossroads we reach, I'll be able to hold my head up high and tell you that you were never short changed.

It starts to seep into your very flesh past your skin and soon you realise that it has consumed you. You would like to think otherwise but you know it. You pretend for a while that it isn't the case and put on some armadillo cloak as part of the props for your little "act". A psuedo aura of indifference surrounds you for a temporary period - like how the booze and tobacco are your fair weathered friends. Because you know. You know that eventually your scars will show. Run swiftly, there is no such thing as a safe haven in this time.

-A.

Strobelight Seduction

All the world's a stage and the men and women merely players. When is enough really enough?

You can play the fool or the runaway.

-A.

Time to Pretend

Let's sweep the dust under the carpets.


2 more weeks to liberty. Can't wait to get out of this shithole. Pathetic attempt to fill the curriculum with such a pointless and redundant activity. Academic exams never looked so good.


You're a real bad habit. You should have known better and conceal those lies flawlessly. What a misjudgement. You asked me to give you the big T word but how can I do that when you give me every reason not to? Consider being more meticulous when you cover your tracks. I'm no Sherlock Holmes but your masking job was simply too half baked. I created a monster.


Fucking weather. The world is obviously a dead man's land. Melting ice at the Antarctica and whatnot. Its April and it pours nearly every afternoon on this sunny island. Sunny island we say, how ironic. Mother Nature's ever changing temperament is honestly not my concern but the fact that it is affecting my tennis and beach plans drastically is exasperating.


I wonder. I evicted you a long time ago and all that remains is the memory of my days of yore. Should there be a day you send me the big red envelope I wonder if it will all come back like a plethora of moving images in a vortex. I'd do it all again, differently.

Talk about crappy weekends. I managed to miss the much anticipated MR500 race and spent my morning at the hospital instead. Truth be told, it was pretty unnerving as I waited for the xray results. Fortunately, it wasn't what I thought.

There's more to it than what meets the eye. Its self absorbed but its the only way to put up the barricades for any impending calamities. Nothing is indispensible and sometimes you learn it the hard way. The game we play everyday can only have one winner.

J was filling me in on something so fucking ludicrous that i have to share it here. This takes online shopping to a whole new level.

Worn/Used Wacoal Yound Old Panties going at S$7 on Ebay. Are you shitting me? And to top off the attractive lucky 7 offer, there's free shipping too. And if that wasn't enough to tickle your funny bone, here's the description posted:

Selling on behalf of a colleague who has been posted overseas

Condition: Used Rating: 8/10

Terms: No Bargaining. No Returns. No lewd requests such as requesting the item to be sent in an unwashed condition

With that said, its apparent how the economy has seriously taken a detrimental hit. Have an enriching day ahead folks, and remember to inform your grams about this attractive offer ;)

-A.

Squirrels

Humans should have been engineered to be able to hibernate like rodents. "You saw this coming." Damn straight I did. Met B for dinner last night and in an uncanny way, its calming to know that there are plights out there which are more grave that the ones at hand. Coming to think of it, all this is just child's play and giving in to the temptation of being vulnerable.

A mere view from the bridge would insinuate that having such a mentality is undesirable and cold blooded. But so what? Its a dog eat dog world and if you choose to lay down your weapons and armor to enter the ring, you'd only have yourself to condemn when you take a fall. So cut the bullshit about how its such a pity, its such a loss etc cos nothing is a loss or a pity. The only pitiful thing I can imagine is to even harbour the thought that anything deserves pity. With that said, I am making no reference to the poverty-stricken and the likes.

I'm curious how you would end your swan song. I could have swore that I believed you more than you can imagine but it does not discount my intellect. Its pathetic how we play pretend that the road ahead is fine and dandy. I fail to comprehend how we ended up at a junction where you felt that you needed to embellish the truth with your revolting lies. Everything you do now is questionable and I'm not able to see you in the same light. What the heck, enough of this sappy bullshit, I'm washing my hands and taking a step back because I no longer see the need to invest in depleted resources.

If this isn't worth your time it sure as hell isn't worth mine.

-A.

Longest. Hiatus. Ever.

And as quoted by J, "like how all things in Andrew's life ceases to lose its attraction, so has this blog". But what do you know? I'm back. For now.

I'm astounded at the number of facades I found. Seeing isn't believing. I wonder how many people take joy in the demise of others, its like a basic instinct. We run our mouths to save ourselves, we seal it out because of the looming catastrophe. Fucking paradox.

I am trapped in pandora's box. You toss out the unwanted debris only to have your fresh fruits turn into poison apples as well. Vicious cycle. Maybe the only solution is to oblivious and rid of worldly desires, nothing to gain, nothing to lose.

I pretend to be unaware because its easier that way. It doesn't mean I'm accomodating and the keyword here is 'pretend'. I'll play along with this masquerade until the ice wears thin. And truth be told, its losing its charm. There's always a first for everything and your unstained track record does not reflect on anything concrete enough. The way I see it, you just might be creating a new record of your own. We will never know until the well runs dry and I'll admit that I had a fair share in your risky business. But it is no excuse and I will never give you that benefit because we're all wise enough to differentiate from a mirage to reality. When the last grain of sand in the hourglass falls I will be well on my way and nothing would matter anymore. Till then, be safe and remember to cover your tracks because the walls have ears.


Lie to protect. Lie to conceal. Lie for selfishness. Lie and destroy.

-A.

it's not gonna get blunter than this. :O

Ferocious angels send me falling stars
But i know just how dangerous wishes are
Ferocious angels watch me come and go
But i'm not too smart to go barging off of roof tops, though

Sit out september on the window sill
'cause you can't drink wine from a two dollar bill
Saint christopher lives on the end of a quill
Leave him a diamond in your last will

He doesn't dangle by the seraphim
He only wants a pretty face by him so
How could you want him when you know you could have me?

You're leaving so soon
Never had a chance to bloom
But you were so quick
To change your tune
Don't look back
If I'm a weight around your neck
Cos if you don't need me
I don't need you